I trained to be a nurse once.....

I sense I am being strung along a little now.

I'm not returning to my placement as it just plunges me into anxiety and depression. I think my university are trying to drag out my 're-placing process' as a way to eventually force me to 'go back to placement or defer for a year'. Both options will end up in my quitting. Numerous clinical staff have confirmed that the AMU is a very stressful environment for students. I am quite curious to know why 2 previous students have also quit the placement in the past.

I'm just getting a bit low and fed up of this now and have started looking at other jobs, mainly as a trainee graphic designer.

:-(

I would have liked to have had the chance to be a health visitor, but the only way is to qualify as a nurse. It's not fair that my university are so unprepared that they can't even facilitate a swap in a situation such as mine.

I've managed to stay upbeat for the sake of my family and friends and general well-being but this is really starting to take its toll.

All I seem to be getting is 'do as we say or fuck off'.

How very compassionate. I would have thought that as nurses these people would have a little more empathy for my situation.

Nursing eh?

We Can't Help You.....

Every few weeks or so we get to go to uni to meet up with our classmates and essentially bitch about our placements. It's an opportunity to vent, moan, rejoice, and regale everyone with stories from where we've been. We normally carry this out in the traditional 'circular' fashion, and take it in turns. 

It came to my attention in this fabulous 'circle-time' that another student was having a crappy time with their placement and wished they could swap.

ACE. An answer to my prayers!

When it got round to me, I burst into tears and simply said I hated my placement. Smooth.

So after that embarrassment the swapping student and I asked our tutor if this was possible, and she agreed. I immediately went to our course coordinator to get the ball rolling, who left me with a very positive feeling that everything was going to be okay, and that it was quite likely the swap would be approved.

AMEN!!! 

I have felt crap the last few days not doing anything, I just want to get to my new placement and accumulate some hours! But I'm happy, as things are on the up :-D

A few days later and I still hadn't heard anything back from anyone (despite a resolution being promised the next day) so I emailed some people. About ten minutes later I get a call from uni basically saying

'You have two choices. Go back to placement and suck it up, or quit and start again next year'.

And I fall to pieces again. 

So there it is. Shit starts to look up and it gets snatched away, talk about false hope. The choice is now go back or fuck off. There is no way I'm hanging around in this city another YEAR just so I can be screwed over by uni again. Apparently there is no swapping allowed outside of my trust this late into placement because no-one is willing to give me an induction, and there in absolutely NOWHERE for me to go in this ENTIRE city, (and trust me, it's a big city).

To be honest, I don't know if I want to be a nurse any more. If this is the help I get when I'm learning to be a nurse (as a vulnerable, clueless student) then what support am I going to get when I'm qualified? It's not looking hopeful. All my dreams of working in the community are just slipping away, and I'm no closer to experiencing what it will be like at all. 

Right now I fucking hate my life. What a true waste of the last 18 months after all the hard work I have put in, and now I need help I am simply brushed off.